RECENT BLOGS

Question: The last two years have been extremely stressful for me, with all the upheaval of the pandemic. Like many, I’ve been parenting, working from home, going back to the office, dealing with sick co-workers and friends, and managing all the fear and uncertainty...

Answer: Being human is never easy. Being human during a global pandemic while parenting, working, and absorbing the existential dread created by our current social and…

Question: One of the line supervisors on my team regularly comes to me with problems: about his clients, about his direct reports, about the rest of the organization. I’ve been in this business for 20 years, so it’s usually pretty obvious to me what he should do...

Answer: It’s frustrating to feel that you could do someone’s job better than they can. I’ve regularly watched people bumble through something...

Question: Like for most people, this pandemic has been hard on my team. We’ve been working remotely for 22 months now, and that’s not likely to change (which is fine with me in general). But we’re not as cohesive as we were pre-COVID, and I feel like we’re less productive, less creative, and have more tension and less fun together. How can I bring back that strong-team vibe?

Answer: While working remotely has clear benefits— Comfortable pants! Less time commuting! Multi-tasking during meetings!—the lack of casual, daily human interactions between team members means...

Question: I know people like to be appreciated, but it doesn’t come naturally to me. I’m kind of a negative person and have an easier time seeing problems and flaws. And when I do try to recognize someone, it feels awkward and stilted. How can I get better at this?

Answer: You’re right that appreciation is foundational to employee engagement and happiness, and a basic lubricant for productive work relationships. But we’ve all been the victim…

Question: Every time a new idea or initiative comes up at work, it just makes me tired. I feel like I’ve done it all a hundred times before. I feel like I’m the grumpy old person who’s always saying, “That will never work” and “We’ve tried that before,” and I know my colleagues...

Answer: You, my friend, have lost your mojo. You aren’t alone. Eighteen months of pandemic stress and working under unfamiliar and uncertain circumstances...

Question: I know that a core part of employee engagement is feeling like your supervisor cares about you as a person. But I’m struggling to care about my team right now — they all seem so needy and annoying. How can I re-find the love?

Answer: People can sometimes be so, people-y. Between their messy emotions, tedious needs, mysterious decision-making processes, and generally unfathomable behavior, it can be hard to like…

Question: I’m terrible at conflict. Any time I need to tell someone something I think they won’t like, I freeze up. I lose sleep for days beforehand. I rationalize every possible reason why the problem will fix itself, but obviously, it doesn’t. How can I get better at having these tough conversations?

Answer: Anxiety in the face of potential conflict is something I (Becca) am painfully familiar with. I grew up in a family that held getting along…

Question: I have a one-hour meeting with my team each week. That time is precious but it’s hard for me to prioritize how to spend it. When I survey my team for what they want, everyone wants something different, so whatever I decide, it will piss off some people...

Answer: Team meetings have a bad reputation but they are invaluable tools. They are a built-in venue to address urgent issues, get work done, and do…

Question: My company is acquiring another company. My counterpart at the new company regularly says the most racist and misogynist things and acts as if I—another white male—should obviously agree. I do not. But I don’t know how to shut him up without endangering what needs to be a good relationship during this acquisition.

Answer: One of the most powerful components of both happiness and work engagement is the belief that we are living congruently with our deepest-held values...

Question: Some of my co-workers, even my supervisor, have moved out of the region during the pandemic. Now that vaccines are well distributed in my area, company leaders say we’re returning to our old, strict “no working remotely” policy, except for those who’ve moved. I want to continue working from home at least two days a week. Should I pretend I’ve moved to another state?

Answer: Setting up a PO box in a distant state and telling everyone you moved might sound like the perfect solution. But...

Question: My co-worker constantly talks about how late she stays and drops hints that she’s the one doing most of the work. It makes me crazy. Please help.

Answer: Listening to martyrs moan about their workload and claim to be the only ones who care is inherently annoying. That vague annoyance is a necessary…

Question: How can I make them see that many of us actually do better work at home?

Answer: Remote work has put employers in a pickle, as my grandmother would say. On the one hand, the stay-at-home requirements of the pandemic have proven…

Question: In the last month, my wife had major surgery for cancer, my dad had heart surgery and my child came out as transgender. It’s been a lot and I know I’m not at my best for my team right now. But to be a good leader, what — if anything — should I share?

Answer: Wow. First, please honor and congratulate yourself for simply putting one foot in front of the other through the past month. Life has thrown a…

Question: One of my direct reports is just okay: not bad enough at her job to performance-manage out, but not really contributing the way I’d like her to either. Do I just put up with her?

Answer: Putting up with profound mediocrity is definitely an option. Many of us have bought into the idea that all our team members should be A-level…

Question: Typically pre-COVID, I met in person with shipping or IT people, and everything was very casual. Because of COVID, we’re on Zoom and my sales peer joins. There is a very different “being presentable” standard. I feel like I have to dress up and make sure my background looks a certain way. I hate it and I feel like it gets in the way of my relationships. Do I have to play by these new rules?

Answer: I’m curious whether these new standards are “real” rules or just a change in the social script. “Real” rules are explicit and official guidance, often…

Question: I have to fire my VP of sales. People love him but I need better results. Should I throw a goodbye party, or is that too painful and awkward?

Answer: There are few things more uncomfortable than the farewell party for someone who folks know — or suspect — isn’t leaving of their own volition.…

I was blessed to receive a preview copy of Shawn Achor's new book. And it is AWESOME!!!! I posted a review on Amazon and wanted to share it with all of you as well. Here it is: Shawn Achor has done it again! As he did in The Happiness Advantage, in Big Potential, Shawn shines light on a commonly held myth that limits us: that our individual skills, attributes and…

I’m back from my 6 month sabbatical in Colombia.  It was a great trip, full of self-learning, recharging and family time.  Lots more to share on that in another post... Today I want to talk about one of my favorite positive psychology books I’ve read in a long time.  It’s called ‘Broadcasting Happiness’  and it is everything a positive psychology book should be. The author, Michelle Gielan, summarizes sixteen years…